What does the word 'numb' mean to you right now?
GEMMA: It means a state I find myself purposefully seeking out a lot more than usual.
SUSIE: I noticed I've been using alcohol to numb myself. And that I can convince myself that I really “need” it.
MELISSA: I have felt this numbness over the past months, it’s a sense of dense inability (or want to) do anything but in a more fruitless way, almost post-dread. I usually like to shake it away if possible, simply moving to another room, a small action, looking outside a window, drinking a big glass of water, noticing this external to myself.
BECK: I used to think there was a spectrum of bad things that happen, and everyone felt the same about the spectrum of “bad” situations. I realise now that there is a spectrum of how people think and respond to bad things. I am so overloaded with consuming news of horrific violence, racism, human rights abuses, power imbalance, inequality, wealth hoarding, poverty… This makes me feel numb.
How have you felt in your body today or recently?
GEMMA: I often feel that my body isn’t attached to my head.
SUSIE: Just heavy.
MELISSA: Day 1 in hotel quarantine and back in Australia. I’m taking it all quite gently on myself and allowing myself to land. I had vivid dreams all night and have rolled out my yoga mat with plans to do 40 minutes yoga with Travis later and some Rasa meditations after lunch. There are mirrors everywhere here which can be daunting, I’m feeling dense and craving movement.
PS. After a yin yoga session and lunch and feeling the strength of a body that got me to where I am.
BECK: My body is angry at me. I feel tense. The past few months I have had this urge to hibernate and be less active which is unusual for me but I know that my body and spirit thrives when I am moving especially when practicing yoga but alas, i accept the angst.
Where have you noticed space/s open up (spiritually or physically or emotionally)?
GEMMA: I’m observing a lot more honesty and vulnerability especially in my workplace and the local community.
SUSIE: I’ve moved house so am physically setting up a new home space, but I’ve been therapeutically working through a lot, having moved cities while processing heartbreak. So, frankly, this enforced solitude has allowed me to really expand into my truest form.
MELISSA: There has been more of a sense of connection with others in a shared experience, particularly in daily life. This has led into more of a realisation of connection. I’ve been more open with others. I am enjoying this as I notice it more.
BECK: Emotionally I have felt an expansion. Due to the current circumstances I have been pushed to really show up to my feelings. As an introvert, a sensitive person, and someone who would prefer to take things slowly and enjoy quiet time, ironically, it is easier for me to push my emotional life to the back ground. But in these circumstances where I find myself at home 24/7, I have accepted that emotions will arise and I need to feel all the feels to evolve.